Parenthood: resolving conflicts between your children? STAR method

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By Mary Dubois

Parenthood is a journey filled with challenges and joys, but sometimes the conflicts between your children can seem overwhelming. Arguments between siblings are inevitable, but finding ways to resolve them is important to maintaining harmony in the family.

This is where the STAR method, a hands-on approach to resolving conflict between children that promotes communication, problem solving and cooperation. In this article, we'll explore this method and how you can apply it to help your children work together and bond stronger.

How is the sibling composed? the role according to the order of birth

Siblings often play important roles in siblings, which can influence their development and long-term relationship. Here are some of the roles siblings can play in siblings:

  1. Elder : The older brother or sister can act as a mentor or protector for the younger ones, guiding and supporting them. They may also have additional responsibilities such as caring for younger children when parents are not around.
  2. Cadet : The younger brothers or sisters can play the role of challenger or accomplice for the older ones. They can also learn from the example and guidance of elders.
  3. Environment : Middle siblings can act as a bridge between older and younger ones, helping to resolve differences and strengthening bonds.
  4. Babe : The youngest brother or sister can receive a lot of attention and protection from the elders. However, they can also be considered the luckiest or the most spoiled.
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It is worth noting that these roles may vary depending on individual circumstances and sibling dynamics. It should also be noted that brothers and sisters can play many different roles during their life together.

What does STAR parenting mean?

Positive parenting : the STAR Method

This is a strategy that aims to limit conflicts between brothers and sisters. Each step of this method allows parents to manage conflicts between children.

Ending an argument between children can be difficult, but there are a few strategies that can help:

Understand the STAR method?

  • Firstly, it is about stop the conflict by listening to both parties: allow each child to express themselves and share their point of view. This can help understand the underlying causes of the argument.
  • Once everyone has expressed their feelings it is a matter of find solutions setting reasonable limits. The parent should keep calm and help the children resolve their dispute. By avoiding taking sides or shouting. Encourage communication: Encourage children to talk to each other and find a solution together.
  • When the climate is calm, it's time totake concrete action : Provide resolution options: Help the children find a solution that satisfies both parties. Encourage them to be creative and think of alternative solutions.
  • Finally, you'll need to set up appropriate consequences to help them understand the importance of resolving differences peacefully. Review and correct so as not to repeat the situation.
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How to use the STAR method?

As parents, we have all experienced arguments between our children. Even very close siblings like to argue over trivial things. One day they may fight over the last cookie in the box. They may both want to eat it and can't come to an agreement.

Application example :

To begin with

When you notice the dispute, first you have to intervene to stop. On the one hand, listen to each child's point of view. On the other hand, remain neutral and not take sides with one or the other.

In a second time

Then it is essential to help them find a solution suitable for both children, explaining that sharing was more important than having just one cookie and suggesting that they cut the cookie in half and share it. They may be a little reluctant at first, but no doubt they'll accept your idea, and share the cookie together.

In a third time

In concretely acting in order to resolve this conflict, this method will help the two children realize that sharing the cookie makes them happier than arguing over who gets it. Understand that sharing and cooperation were important values to build a strong and lasting relationship. And this is how the two brothers will learn a valuable lesson.

To finish

For to correct this confrontational behavior, it is essential to encourage communication in order to prevent problems from arising. Encourage each child to develop relational skills that will be necessary throughout his life.

Positive parenting : create complicity among siblings

Ultimately, it's essential to remember that arguments between children are part of normal development and can help develop communication skills. conflict resolution. As a parent or guardian, you can help guide children to a peaceful resolution.

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In addition, the role of each sibling can have a considerable impact on the sibling relationship, and it is necessary to recognize and respect the roles played by each sibling. By working together and supporting each other, siblings can strengthen their ties and develop a strong and lasting relationship.