Nonviolent Communication

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By Mary Dubois

In a society increasingly prone to violence and aggression, it is essential to inculcate values of respect and empathy from an early age. There non-violent communication (CNV) is an approach developed by Marshall Rosenberg that aims to foster listening and the authentic expression of emotions between individuals. By applying it in the education of our children, we offer them the possibility of growing up with healthy and caring communication, allowing them to resolve conflicts in a constructive way.

Implement nonviolent communication in the lives of our children

NVC is based on several principles, including expressing needs and feelings clearly and honestly, without judging or accusing the other party. She favors a climate of trust and respect between people. By instilling in our children non-violent communication from an early age, we prepare them to face conflict situations peacefully and to build harmonious relationships.

In this article, we will explore the different facets of nonviolent communication and how to implement it in the lives of our children. Together, we will discover techniques to accompany our children in learning this mode of communication based on listening, respect and empathy. By cultivating this approach from the start of their lives, we help them develop the skills necessary to become caring and responsible adults.

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Understanding Nonviolent Communication and implementing it in the lives of our children

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a communication approach developed by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s. It aims to resolve conflicts and establish harmonious collaboration between individuals. In the context of childhood, CNV makes it possible to respond to the needs of children and to help adults accompany children in their emotional and social development. In this first section, I explain the basic principles of Childhood Nonviolent Communication and how it can benefit children and the adults around them.

The basic principles of Nonviolent Communication for early childhood

Nonviolent Communication is based on four fundamental principles:

  1. Observation: paying attention to concrete and objective facts without interpreting or judging.
  2. Feelings: expressing our emotions without imposing them on others.
  3. Needs: identifying our unmet needs at the root of our emotional reactions.
  4. Requests: formulate clear and explicit requests to meet our needs.

By applying these principles, NVC encourages benevolence, listening, empathy and mutual respect.

Implementing non-violent communication in the lives of our children: the advantages?

Nonviolent Communication offers many benefits to children:

  • Emotional development: learning to express and identify their emotions.
  • Conflict management: Adopting constructive strategies to resolve disputes.
  • Self-esteem: strengthen their self-confidence and respect for themselves and others.
  • Relationship with others: establish healthy and harmonious relationships with those around them.

The benefits for adults

Adults can also benefit from NVC in their relationship with children:

  • Empathetic listening: understanding children's needs and emotions without judgement.
  • Intrinsic motivation: encouraging children to act by internal motivation rather than by coercion or reward.
  • Empowerment: giving children the means to be actors in their lives and their choices.
  • Educational support: better support children in their learning and autonomy.
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Ultimately, Non-Violent Childhood Communication creates a climate of trust, respect and cooperation between children and adults. This approach thus contributes to the personal and relational development of young and old alike.

Putting nonviolent communication into practice in the lives of our children

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can be an extremely effective method for establishing harmonious relationships between parents and children. For successful practice of NVC with children, it is necessary to follow a few key steps.

Active listening

Active listening is the first step in practicing NVC with children. It is essential to take the time to listen to your children without judging them or interrupting them, in order to understand their needs and their emotions.

  • Knowing how to listen to implicit needs
  • Retranscribe correctly, using the following formulas in particular: “if I understand correctly, you feel… because…”

Expressing own needs and emotions

To establish non-violent communication with children, it is essential to share one's own emotions and needs. Feel free to use "I" and "my" to express personal needs.

  • Formulate clearly based on facts
  • Understand the impact on oneself

Make clear requests

Once everyone's needs are identified, it's time to make clear and realistic requests. It is important not to demand, but rather to invite cooperation.

  • Be precise and concrete to avoid misunderstandings
  • Consider everyone's needs

Finding solutions that meet everyone's needs

Nonviolent Communication involves working together on solutions, involving children in decision-making as much as possible. The process should be an exchange where everyone's needs and desires are taken into account.

  • Look for creative solutions
  • Find common ground or compromise
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Here are some additional tips for fostering NVC with children:

  • Use role plays to help children understand the differences between violent communication and NVC.
  • Establish a safe communication space to allow children to share their concerns and emotions without fear of judgment.
  • Work on empathy by helping children recognize the emotions of others and express their support.
  • Practice NVC regularly so that this mode of communication becomes natural and systematic.

By putting these tips and steps into practice, NVC with children will create healthier and richer relationships. Children will grow up with strong communication skills and increased empathy, which will help them handle conflict situations better in the future.


In summary, nonviolent communication (NVC) can have a significant impact on childhood development. It allows children to express their emotions and needs constructively while developing understanding of others. Here are some key points about childhood nonviolent communication:

  • NVC helps to prevent conflicts and tensions within the family.
  • It supports the development of socio-emotional skills such as empathy, cooperation and self-esteem.
  • NVC teaches children to resolve conflicts peacefully and productively.

Applying nonviolent communication from an early age can have lasting effects on children's relationships and overall well-being. Here are some actions that parents and educators can take to promote NVC in the education of children:

  1. Listen carefully : Take the time to really listen to what the child is saying, without judgment or interruption. Pay attention to their emotions and underlying needs.
  2. Speak with sincerity : Talk about your own feelings and needs without imposing them on others. Be clear, precise and avoid accusatory language.
  3. Show empathy : Seek to understand the other person's point of view. Try putting yourself in his or her shoes and imagining how he or she might be feeling.
  4. Negotiate solutions together : Find solutions that meet the needs of all participants. Involve children in finding compromises to empower them and teach them cooperation.

Finally, nonviolent communication has the potential to bring about positive and lasting change in the lives of children and families. By teaching children the basics of NVC, we prepare them to develop healthy and constructive relationships throughout their lives.

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